What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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