My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
