I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
