just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It's just like the Real World with babies
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
