the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize