There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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