Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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