And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
