Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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