he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
