can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
