you guys were way drunker than both of me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
