Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
