And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
