What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
