dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
