He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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