Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
