Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
