Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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