im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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