I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
