There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
