So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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