So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize