Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize