Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
