she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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