Me. At least after what I've been through.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize