It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize