im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The beer is more important than you right now.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
