Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
