Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
