I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
