Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
