It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just blew my weed a kiss
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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