who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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