can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
