It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
