He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
