Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
