Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
