My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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