he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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