my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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