YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
