This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
