I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize