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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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