do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
