just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize