All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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