I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
