Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
