Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
